


wistful

by xingyvns



Series: Haikyuu Fic Bang [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Attempted Angst, Beach Volleyball, Beta Read, M/M, Memories, Not, Reminiscing, Sad Oikawa Tooru, Sad Ushijima Wakatoshi, Shooting Star, Ushijima learns feelings, Volleyball, beach, i got a beta reader!!!, im very sorry, its angst but, ok THIS one ill edit at a later date i promise, sand, this is rushed, ushijima is bad at feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24496036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xingyvns/pseuds/xingyvns
Summary: Ushijima Wakatoshi reminiscences his high school years through his yearbook. But throughout all of the memories, his mind continues to wander to Oikawa Tooru.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: Haikyuu Fic Bang [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769719
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	wistful

**Author's Note:**

> italics indicate flashbacks in chunks

wistful

vague or regretful longing

_Shiratorizawa Academy Yearbook_

_2011 - 2012_

The sounds of squeaking shoes and volleyballs hitting clean gym floors seemed to echo in Ushijima’s head as he flipped through the pages of his yearbook. His third year of high school was a blur, moments in life captured in a book to be forgotten some time later.

It’s been a few years now, he is 24 now and well into his career and adult lifestyle. But, some part of him wondered if he truly experienced high school as he was supposed to. Sure, he did clubs, made friends, attended high school - but did he really _experience_ it. Did he ever have the chance to go to parties, to have celebrations with a large group of friends, to experience what all his teammates did; hell, he thinks Shirabu had a more genuine experience than he did. 

He flipped to a page - _Shiratorizawa Academy v. Aoba Johsai._

Pictures of his team during the match flooded the page, the purple contrasting with the occasional mint color of Aoba Johsai’s volleyball jersey color. But compared to the other teammates, Oikawa Tooru managed to stand out. It wasn’t as though he was doing anything unique or out of the ordinary - he was merely sitting on the bench, drinking water while his teammates bickered around him. 

But Ushijima couldn’t help that small fluttering feeling that seemed to take over for a moment.

He was as ethereal as ever - a soft touch to his violent volleyball nature. One that was ever prevalent in their first years. He’d never forget it - the memories they had shared before it all went to shit.

Before volleyball came in the way between the two of them.

A memory flashed - a rather intimate action, at least, in Ushijima’s terms - hand holding. Fresh into the relationship:

_“Ushiwaka-chan, I’ll teach you everything you need to know!” A younger Oikawa exclaimed, brandishing the newly acquired Aoba Johsai volleyball club jacket. He held out his left hand, outstretched as if inviting Ushijima to take it. He was still bitter about Junior High, but he repressed those emotions for the supposed attraction he held for him._

_“Give me your hand!” he said, using his right hand to point at his right hand. After a beat of silence he just reached over for it, grabbing his larger hand and placing it on top of his own. He then laced their fingers together, grinning proudly at that._

_“This is how you hold hands, it’s a pretty basic thing in relationships that most couples do!”_

He still remembered how warm Oikawa’s hand felt in his - it was a comforting feeling, something they would do when the other was troubled; a silent method of communication. 

He continued to flip the pages - countless being of his volleyball team and the matches that included him from his first year. After all, he was the pride of the school throughout all three years he had attended, leading his team to countless victories and going to nationals almost every year. He was, however, caught off guard for a moment when an image of him in his gym class appeared.

It was volleyball - but it was held outdoors, as if it was beach volleyball. And they had used a beach ball instead of the general and rougher volleyball for quite obvious reasons. 

Though, this didn’t help much.

He had to commend the photographer of their school - they did an excellent job in taking amazing pictures, especially for a fast moving sport that would cause many blurry, scrapped photos. One particular photo stood out - apart from the one that was titled _Bitchy-Jima_ in bright purple with little spritzes of glitter. A photo of him preparing to serve.

He was mimicking Oikawa’s moves, if he were to be honest. He had seen the success rates in his serves and wanted to match the beautiful form he held when he did it. It was always so graceful and quick, something he wanted to practice, even if it was at a silly gym class match.

_The beach was always such a warm place to be at, but it never felt like home; the blazing sun burned Ushijima’s feet as he walked in the sand, the waters cooling him for a mere second before the scalding pain came back in an instant. It didn’t help with the uncomfortable grains of sand starting to filter into his toenails, getting stuck in the nooks and crannies and somehow gathering higher up his leg._

_He was grateful to be called to play beach volleyball - he no longer had to pay attention to the small things that made him uncomfortable at a beach, and rather the other players in a non-competitive match. Oikawa was here with his best friend, Iwaizumi, and two others that he didn’t recall the names of. Ushijima had been dragged here by Oikawa, but he brought Tendou as well as Goshiki and Semi._

_A fair 4 v 4 match between two rival schools, but he could already tell that Oikawa’s teammates weren’t the slightest bit happy at the sight of him. Usually he didn’t notice, but with their glares burning holes into him and the way their blocks and spikes were targeted - even someone like him could detect it._

_But the reassuring actions after made it all worth it._

_Well, for as long as they lasted at least._

He closed the yearbook. 

These memories were becoming unpleasant, only bringing back moments that he would never get back, no matter how hard he tried to change or to learn. Maybe they were just destined to never be together, that their years together were some kind of fluke.

“Heh,” he chuckled bitterly in the silence of his room. He stood, the cracks in his knees and ankles echoing in the small room as he walked out to the balcony. The cool air hit his face in a gentle breeze as he slid the glass door, the curtains going with it. He slipped on the outdoor shoes he left there, walking out and leaning his forearms on the cool wood of the balcony railings.

He looked up, a bright light passing - a shooting star.

Maybe this was a sign - maybe it was a force of nature or some spiritual or astrological being telling him this was the last chance. He may have never been one to believe in superstitions or anything out of the ordinary, but that would mean he had nothing to lose.

So he wished upon a shooting star, a wistful smile gracing his face as he did so.


End file.
